DO NOT DISTRACT THE DRIVER


I

Dancing Albanians think of giving new turns to their activities, in a way such that children will not understand anything of life's sorrows and disappointments. Not understand anything before their time. Yet the thoughts of these Albanians go no further than the windows' rowlocks. And all because a certain Italian, answering to the name of Guillaume Tsitzes, and professing to be a repairer of wind instruments, attempts to deceive the bridal couple, attaching to an old-fashioned Singer sewing machine four horns, of which two are crystal and the other two fashioned from any nondescript metal. Let no one be alarmed: this is the one image that helped the blind lighthouse-keeper now deceased to discover the secret of the well.

II
(on everything under the sun)

Blessed be the memory of Ali Hadjar, most gracious Ottoman effendi, never a high official in the Empire, who most greatly benefited mankind, assisted by a certain Italian, Guillaume Tsitzes by name. Of this opinion moreover is mistress Artemis. The assurance of "mistress Artemis" calms troubled souls, and contributes most greatly to the endeavours of 16th century French poets to found a new school under the name of "Ple-iade". Moreover, not one of us can forget that it was the monk Schwartz who invented gunpowder. And so for the restů

Translated by David Connolly



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